Greetings Beloved Warriors!
My views are just that, mine. I am still learning, as we all are, about this broad topic of sexuality and sexual orientation. For something that’s supposed to be simplistic in its natural form, it sure does go through a complex weave of explanations and unfortunate consequences.
LESBIAN & GAY ADOLESCENT-IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT by Ryan & Futterman
“Sexual activity is a behavior …sexual orientation is a component of identity (p. 10).”
This statement/phrase stood out to me as it implied a separation of what one does sexually to who one is sexually attracted to. To me, it seems that these two qualities are one in the same. When one is sexually or romantically attracted to another, the natural process of things is for them to be physically/sexually involved with that individual. Then I was able to read further and take it from a different angel keeping the adolescent stage in perspective. As a teenager, I feel that experimenting, not just with sex/sexuality, is a part of finding out our identity and purpose in life. Yes, there are teenagers who have had sexual encounters with the same sex out of curiosity and peer influences (e.g., truth or dare games, spin the bottle, etc.). Then there are teenagers who are ahead of their times, in terms of their intelligence and maturity level, that have always known who they are and did not see it as an “experiment” phase, be it their sexual identity/orientation, career goals, gender roles, etc. I was that teenager and I never had doubts about who I was attracted to or to the qualities I was attracted to. I did not separate my sexual activity with my sexual orientation. They were one in me and they still are. I resonated and gravitated towards qualities of that individual that stood out to me; be it their style, the way they spoke and what they spoke of, their creativity, intelligence, and overall their human qualities.
Bisexuality appears to come after heterosexual identity (p. 10).
Okay another interesting concept that I have not heard before as well. My first attraction was towards a female in 7th grade. My next attractions varied between boys and girls (with boys coming on strong the scene during my 10th grade year). Interestingly enough and lately, I have been attracted and attracting feminine energy and qualities in the form of a female/woman/girl. I say that because energy has no gender limitations. Gender actually loses its effects/influences when you reach to other forms of dimensions. I want to make the point that the attraction that I am currently feeling is due to the energy I am yearning and putting out as well. That is not to say I am limited to embracing the masculine energy as well, be it in the physical form of a man or woman. As stated in the reading, “…many people engage in bisexual behavior without self-identifying as bisexual (p.16).”
I have never had an issue with having to “come out” or defend my sexuality. It was and will always be a part of me that I embrace fully. I never felt the need to consciously and directly let people know about that. I never hid it too; most of my friends knew me well and had no problems seeing that as a small part of my whole being. I found it interesting to see the lack of research on bisexuality. This lets me know that we like to just pin point to categorized sets of things and not take this topic for what it truly is, a continuum whether you end up with the same sex, both sex, or no sex at all.