I seek that this blog finds you all in great spirits.
“When in love, body, mind, heart and soul don’t even exist. Become this, fall in love, and you will not be separated again“~ Rumi
About a month ago, I had an urge to dive deep with my women and men warriors on this question: “What is your inner standing / understanding of being in love? We all have an idea of what love is, what love feels like, and what love looks like. But how does it look and feel like to be in love? Is there even a difference of loving someone and being in love with someone? Does one precede the other or do they both consume us simultaneously?
Upon asking the men and women this question, I received a mix of immediate responses, unrelated to the question asked but about the question that was asked. The instant responses ranged from, “oh that that is a deep question, that is a good question, that is a surprisingly difficult question, and…great question Queen.” The themes that I saw emerging from such responses were that folks appeared to be clearer of the felt sensation of loving and being in love than actually describing it. In the words of one man (20’s), “I’ve never really tried to articulate what being in love means; I guess I’ve been okay with just existing in it rather than trying to wrap my mind around it” and of another man (40’s), “it is harder to put it in words than one would expect” [he was asked but never responded stating he would need time].
Eleven participants took part in this poll. I polled three men: one in his mid-20’s and two in their 30’s and five women: one in her 30’s, two in their 20’s, two in their 40’s and one in her late 50’s. These were the original rounds of folks that I asked the questions to and that answered the fastest. The second round of folks was polled on May 16th. The sample population for that was: two men: one in his mid-20’s and another in his early 60’s and a woman, in her late 50’s. Three participants identified their relationship status as being in a committed partnership, two participants identified as a married couple, and six participants identified as being single – meaning they are not currently talking to someone and/or dating.
The men and women in this poll were asked the question via the following modes of communication: Instagram, Viber, Marco Polo, and mobile/cell text messaging. There were two participants that were asked face to face but they chose to write and Marco Polo their responses, respectively. All the participants had the option of writing their answers or verbally responding via the various modes of communication. Three out of five men participants chose to write their responses. Five out of six women participants chose to verbally express their responses.
~…“is not fully measured with words. It’s a feeling that you innerly know for certain, subconsciously or consciously. It’s a feeling of wanting to serve the highest good in somebody” [in a relationship]
~…“looking forward to being around and with… and intimate with…sharing with someone on a consistent basis. Looking forward to seeing my husband every day and being excited when I see him or him being able to make me giggle and blush…those are the important parts…really knowing a person and trusting a person…not all the fluffy stuff…it’s really the connection of trusting someone and respecting someone and loving to be in their presence in all different capacities” [married]
~ “I guess it’s just like wanting to reach towards the positive all the time…it’s something that should make you reach towards the positive all the time. If ever it makes you reach toward anything negative, makes you be subservient to your ego instead of your soul, than that is not really being in love, that is a different kind of love, one that is trying to coincide with false identity and therefore a type of false love”[in a relationship]
~ “I really think, I really think being in love with yourself, being in love with who you are, where you are going, your life, continuing to recreate yourself, the love for you, for what you doing here makes you feel better, makes you whole, makes you a better person and helps you understand love. I think you can only love somebody else as deeply as you can understand that love. And, um somebody else can only love you as deeply as they understand that love. So I’ve switched from, well, partnerships, friendships, relationships to satisfy you and make you feel loved…it’s really coming into relationship with yourself. In doing that, you have lots of other great relationships, of course. The idea that, what am I doing to get in my way of abundance, of love, of feeling good because you are the only person that can create that. Being in love, means you have to come back to yourself” [single]
~”Love is unconditional, patient…selfless, giving, long suffering, beautiful, rare, shown through family, shown through friends, amazing, unity, peace. Love can be a feeling when received; love is expressed more than being a feeling. Love covers a multitude of sins, never gives up on self or someone. Love is simply faithful…ongoing. Love is also healing” [single]
~Love is a good thing to do and have. Love is great, love is vitamin. When you love someone you feel grateful, you feel fantastic because you in love. Especially true love comes through your heart. I love to be in love…I love to be treated the same way as I love someone. Love is love for who respects love and does love” [in a relationship]
~”Ok I’m not sure if there are adequate words to describe it but perhaps an overwhelming happiness or joy” [single]
~So far, I understand it can be difficult to sustain the love for someone after seeing the best and worst of them but if that person still remains in your life and still attracts you, somehow than I believe love is not only there but you continue to fall in love all over again” E.D [single]
~To me, love is the frequency of our true authentic self. Being in love is being aware of the divinity that happens when authentic souls meet on the same frequency and can share that same frequency with grace, balance, and acceptance” [single]
~Being in love! When you feel time is like a moment and space feels in your hands. And we wish this feeling to be forever” [married]
I will be posting a v-log on my afterthoughts based on these responses by end of this month. In the meantime, I encourage you all to dive and dig deep and discover what being in love means for you. What responses resonated with you the most? Were you surprised by the responses based on the participants age, biological sex, and relationship status? Is being in love more about our self love, loving someone else, or a balance of the two? I look forward to seeing your comments.
Breathe Love Laugh Dance (BLLD)